5 Things I Learned From Horse Riding

first published on January 12, 2011 on my Wisdom of a 20-Something; republished on 5 Things I Learned on January 25, 2011

1) Your bum is gonna hurt.

It’s a fact… but eventually you’ll be so used to the discomfort that it won’t matter. It’s the same in life…we eventually get desensitized from the not so ideal things that surround us. In some cases, like horse riding or learning to tune out noise or distractions that can be a good thing. But there are other things like poverty, injustice and cruelty that we should not want to be desensitized from.

2) Sometimes its ok not to follow the rules.

If you’ve ever gone horse riding, the first lesson you learn is how to mount and position yourself on a horse. Your bum should be in the saddle and your feet in their respective stirrups. I often removed my feet from the stirrups, just because.

On one occasion when I was a kid, my family went to this place where you could rent a horse for a ride. My mom decided to take a photo of me on the horse. The horse spooked, I was unprepared and got thrown off. It was a good thing that my feet (naturally) weren’t in the stirrups or I would have ended up with injured ankles, knees or both.

Knowing which rules to break, resist or go against is tricky. It can go both ways – you could be lucky or successful or you could be condemned.

3) Horses stink.

Let’s face it… all animals have a certain smell. I don’t care if its a goldfish or a snake or an elephant-there is always some sort of odor if not from the animal itself then from its habitat.

Like #1, you eventually get used to the smell.

4) Hold on.

Even the best trained horses have their moods and can be unpredictable. If I’d been holding on well, I probably wouldn’t have been thrown off the horse even if it did spook. (Note: I wasn’t holding the reigns.)

Life’s like that too… there are events and seasons where you just have to hold on.

5) Enjoy.

Horse riding is enjoyable… When you’re on a horse, you see things from a different perspective (literally). And usually, the place you are horse riding in is scenic. Enjoy the view and the experience.

5 Things I Learned from Falling In Love

first published on January 24, 2011 on Wisdom of a 20-Something; republished on 5 Things I Learned on January 25, 2011

 

1) Falling in love is NOT a choice.

It is a feeling of intense attraction to another. A feeling that often comes suddenly and without warning. It’s often something that happens to you rather than something you make happen. It is a reaction to external stimulus. You wake up one day and realize that suddenly you’ve fallen in love.

2) Falling in love and being in love is a roller coaster of emotions.

It’s a time when your mind, heart and body are in complete agreement. You can’t stop thinking about him or her. Your heart feels everything – like its going to burst. And your body makes you feel all amorous and craving for intimacy.

At the same time your mind feeds you with doubts and worries. Your heart feels like its going to shrivel up if your feelings are not returned. And your body no matter what you do leaves you unsatisfied.

But you just go with the flow.

3) Falling in love involves a cocktail of hormones.

  • Adrenaline – results in the phenomenon of sweaty palms, heart palpitations and dry mouth
  • Dopamine – makes you feel desire and a rush of pleasure
  • Serotonin – why your loved one keeps popping in your thoughts
  • Oxytocin – (released during sex) deepens the feeling of attachment
  • Vasopressin – (also linked to sex) cements long term commitment

It’s all here in this article — http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelove.htm

4) The feeling of falling in love and being in love fades.

As two people become more familiar with each other the rush of falling in love and being in love fades. Things about the other person begin to irritate you and other flaws become more noticeable.

5) Loving is a choice.

Falling in love is just the first step. Mature individuals recognize that real love requires effort. If both parties are ready, the feeling of falling and being in love can transform into something beautiful and lasting. To love is a choice, chosen every second through triumphs and losses, joy and anger, life and death, peace and pain, celebration and suffering.

Functional promise vs. Aspirational promise

I have this thought, I’m not done thinking it through yet but here goes:

I chanced upon the movie Did You Hear About The Morgans? and towards the end of the movie Mr. Morgan says to Mrs. Morgan: “I want you to expect everything from me. You are not gonna get it, but I’m gonna try.” This got me thinking about what businesses promise their clients.

In the past businesses made a promise to their consumers-this is my product, here’s what it can do. If it doesn’t do what it’s supposed to we’ll give you a refund, replace the device etc. It’s a promise built on the product or service’s effective functionality. Today’s business promise is so much more than functional its aspirational – it paints a picture of an ideal lifestyle or state of being that can (supposedly) only be achieved by availing the product or service. Do you want to make someone feel loved? Make them a cup of Nescafe coffee. Do you want your family to be closer together? Take them to Jollibee. The functional promise is still there, naturally the product or service has to deliver the basics but more than that it has to deliver the aspiration.

The challenge isn’t the promise but its ensuring that the aspiration is achieved to some degree of satisfaction for the customer. And if you as a business can’t deliver the aspiration, just stick with making and keeping your functional promise.

5 Things I Learned About Comforters

Originally on 5 Things I Learned – January 26, 2011

Just so we’re on the same page… A comforter is a type of blanket much like a quilt or a duvet. It’s meant to keep the user warm and cozy on a cold night (or if your bed room is air conditioned.)

1. It’s really effective at keeping the cold out and the warmth in.

My room mate who also owns the flat I live in, recently decided that we needed an air conditioner for the fast coming summer months. The problem is, I’m extremely sensitive to the cold! I shiver if a fan is blowing in my direction. For a while, I used a wool blanket…which provided my some measure of warmth, enough so I could get to sleep and wake up with stiff muscles.

I dealt with the discomfort for a month till I finally came to my senses and got myself a comforter last weekend…and voila! Warmth…joyous warmth.

2. It keeps me in bed (and refusing to get out and really wake-up.)

Having a comforter wrapped around you… is almost (I repeat almost) like waking up in your loved one’s arms. It’s really comforting (forgive the pun). Of course nothing beats the real thing…a loving committed man beside me but till then I can spend a couple of minutes more under covers dreaming of him.

3. It is thick and heavy…and thus a chore to wash.

In a month’s time, I’ll be faced with the insurmountable task of washing my comforter. Filled with cotton (or whatever synthetic material it’s filled with that  makes it warm)…the filling absorbs an absurd amount of water and thus becomes really heavy. So arms and legs get ready for one helluva work out!

Then again…there’s a laundry shop nearby. I think I’ll go that route.

4. When folded it doubles up as a pillow.

A really really comfy pillow.

5. You can also use it as a sleeping bag or padded mat.

I remember at home when I’d have friends for a sleep over…when we ran out of fold-able mattresses piling on a couple of comforters on top of one another was a comfortable alternative to the hard cement floor… hey drunks can’t be ‘choosers’ right!

5Ts of Realizing an Idea

“A great idea is born in the mind, resonates with the soul and is rooted in the heart.” – me

The United Nations estimates that there are 7 billion people in the world. Let us assume that every day each person can come up with three ideas (though obviously three is a very low number, just go with me on this). Then everyday you have 21 billion ideas floating around in people’s brains. This could be any idea – for business, for self improvement, for the community, an alternative theory about why the sky is blue, whatever. In a year humans would have thought 7,665,000,000,000, that’s 7.6 TRILLION ideas!!! WOW. And were being conservative here… we not even planning to multiply that by the average human life span.

The reality is most of our ideas remain as ideas, and honestly that is OK. But I am sure that for each person, there is at least one idea that you’d really want to make real. Or if you are like me then there are a million ideas you want to realize…if so then take a look at this post.

In my experience, an idea is realized in what I call 5T-Phases:

1. Thinking Phase

An idea is born in the mind. Your imagination and visualization is a powerful tool in idea generation. When an idea captures your attention, play around with it in your mind and express your thoughts through writing or illustrating it. Think about it and think about it some more. When you are ready, describe your idea – whether it be a product or service or your ideal life for yourself. Concretize your idea and vision – commit it to writing or illustration.

Next, think about how to make your idea real. Identify what you have and what you need to make things happen. Make a ROUGH plan on how to make it possible. I say rough only because a frame of reference will be very helpful as you proceed but a down to the details plan can actually deter the growth of your idea even before it begins.You may want to involve other people in refining and/or realizing your idea – they can bring a different perspective and their expertise and experience into creating a really great thing. Plus, I’ve found that working with a team also helps in keeping me energized to see my idea through to reality.

2. Try-out Phase

Simply, try out what you thought of and make notes along the way. It’s best to think small for now – just prototype or test run your idea and take note. Be super anal in taking note of improvements, challenges, opportunities, threats – don’t dismiss an observation. Call things as they are. How it actually works can greatly differ from how you thought it would work. You’ll also be able to observe the participation and reaction of others to your idea. If there are negative reactions, don’t be discouraged at the outset. Again, take things as it is and then reflect on things in the next phase.

3. Tinkering Phase

Go back to your thoughts and plans in the Thinking Phase and make changes according to your observations. Revise your idea and plans accordingly. If you need to, go through the Try-out and Tinkering Phase as many times as it is needed until your idea is refined enough that it can proceed to the next level – the level where your intuition that you have a great idea is validated and refined by initial results.

Sometimes, it takes a while for a new idea to take root in yourself and with others. Assume a neutral perspective in dealing with negative reactions and initial failures. It does not mean that your idea is worthless – just that it needs further molding and that there are other factors you need to consider.

4. Take THE Step Phase

Take THE Step – is making the initial commitment to seeing your idea through to reality. Here is where you are going to go all out. Invest time and effort into your idea. If it is appropriate, bring in more people, more resources to really make your idea real. in this phase you scale up your activities.

5. Total Commitment Phase

Total commitment is different from the Take THE Step phase as here I refer to your continuous commitment to your idea and realizing it. Assuming that you have achieved some measure of success and your operations validate that long-term success is indeed possible, you’ll come to a point where you will have to decide whether you want to fully commit (your future) to making this idea a reality and HOW that commitment will look like.

 

How long should each phase take? It depends on what your idea is. If were talking about changing your life or aspects of your life it could be as quick as a day per phase or several weeks, for business ideas a good rule of thumb is 6 months to one year from Thinking to Tinkering Phase.

 

When You Have A Million Ideas

Personally one of my great dilemmas is that I have so many ideas running around in my head. And each idea is a great opportunity. But with such a wide array of good possibilities, I’ve either stretched myself too thin that it’s useless or I become paralyzed-unable to move forward. I’ve seen the same reality with the companies and people I work with. They too would like to take advantage of good opportunities and they should but at the same time, resources are limited. One really has to choose how to proceed and assume the risk of choosing. So here are the 3 steps that have proven effective for me to get me moving on an idea:

1. Make a list of ideas and opportunities. – Just list these down-all of them. Don’t judge it. Stop yourself from thinking whether its viable or not, whether it’s crazy or not, or whatever.

2. Order the ideas according to these two scales:

a. List A: Most Exciting to Least Exciting

b. List B: Most Immediately Viable to Least Immediately Viable

3. At this point, compare the top 5 of list A to the top 10 of list B. At least one idea will be on both lists. This is a good place to start – your excitement will fuel your commitment to making the idea real.

A final note: don’t discard your other ideas, it may just not be the time for them. I am reminded that James Cameron had to wait twenty years for the technology to be developed in order to make his dream of Avatar a reality (then again he also had a hand in developing the technology so it works both ways be patient, nurture your ideas and develop what you can.)

5 Things I Learned From Wearing Killer Heels

Originally on 5 Things I Learned – January 30, 2011

In an attempt to look hot, professional and intimidating, I wore a killer pair of high heels recently. Here’s the 5 things I learned from that experience.

1. Customize, customize, customize…

Anyone who has ever endeavored to wear heels higher than 2 inches will know that it is uncomfortable…if not, it will be after a couple of hours. Even seasoned high heal wearers like celebrities and models will attest to that. But there are tips and tricks to make the experience a hell of a lot more comfortable… one of them is to customize your heels for a better fit.

Unless your heels were made for you and custom-crafted according to a mold of your foot and according to the way you walk…even the best fitting heels need a little customization. For me, I attached a heel grip to tighten the back of the shoe for a more snug fit. I also added 2 foam taps-gel and fabric cushions that went under the balls of my feet to absorb the shock when walking. Lastly I added, arch support for the added comfort.

Normally, wearing heels like that would have had me groaning in pain within two hours or so of walking and moving around. The padding I had added lengthened it’s comfortable wearability to 4 hours.

2. Sit down and let your feet and legs rest.

Sitting down is not enough, if you’re like me, the type of girl that still puts weight on your feet while seated. I’ve found that instead of keeping my heel clad feet firmly planted on the floor while seated, the best and most relaxing for my feet and legs is to cross my ankles and tuck my feet under the chair. (If you’re familiar with the movie Princess Diaries, refer to the scene where the Queen [Julie Andrews] teaches the Mina [Anne Hathaway] the proper way to sit. Mia actually falls of the chair when she tries it, but trust me it’s not that difficult.)

P.S. Crossing your legs actually isn’t that comfortable either…you’re letting one leg rest but the other is getting a beating.

3. It’s hard to run when you’re in high heels – whether your running toward or running away.

I’m a really fast walker, even in heels. But the heels, I wore the other day were higher than usual and I couldn’t walk as fast as I normally did for fear of losing balance and falling. It was a great feat to walk slower than I normally do. The experience makes me wonder how performers and dancers manage to do what they do-wear heels, dance and not fall on their faces or butts.

Wearing low heeled shoes and flats are definitely better options if you’re expecting a lot of walking and fast movement but learning how to move fast in killer heels would be all the more sexy if you’re running toward someone and all the more memorable if you’re running away from someone.

4. Thus, after #3, work your femininity into each step.

Being ‘forced’ to walk slower than normal, I had to work each step-to consciously infuse my power, sensuality and confidence into each step.

Use the time to hone your feminine power.

5. Thus after #4. enjoy the attention.

High heels get you noticed. In my case though, it got me more looks than I usually get. I’m decently attractive and the way I walk and present myself generally turns heads. However…I’d usually walk briskly and confidently. This time however, I couldn’t walk fast and walking slowly made me feel vulnerable and ‘on display.’ I couldn’t plow through like I normally do. Walking at a slow pace, I could not help but observe the area and the people around me…and interact with them to some degree.

It can be unnerving to have a lot of eyes on you if you aren’t ready, but just relax and enjoy the attention…you can even flirt a bit.

Seize the Moment

The universe compels us to seize the moment – but a moment comes in a variety of ways. It can be exciting, thrilling, loud and unmistakable. It can be calm, quiet, slow and seemingly miniscule. It can entice you to charge onward with guns blazing or nudge you to slow down and smell the roses. It can direct you to look outside of yourself to all the people that surround you or it can call you to dig deep within into your very core. And some moments can be painful, sad, terrifying or paralyzing – still seize the moment, acknowledge it for what it is, take in all that it has to give you and then let it pass. Seize the moment – accept it for what it is and allow it to propel you to the next moment without attachments.

5 Things I Learned from Answering the Phone

Originally on 5 Things I Learned – January  31, 2011

1. Greet the person on the other end SLOWLY.

Have you ever had to repeat the name of your company or your name to the caller even after you delivered your customary telephone greeting?

People often rush through the phone greeting without really thinking about what they’re saying. Your caller probably heard you mumble something, not really catching a single word you said.

Slowing down will feel odd at first. You’ll think that the caller will probably be bored by the time you finish with your greeting…that is not the case! It only sounds slow to you.

2. Pronunciation and enunciation are key.

Sometimes its not the rate of speech that makes you incomprehensible but how clearly you sound out the consonants and vowels of your words.

Try making an audio recording of yourself and play it back to check how fast you are talking, how clear and understandable your pronunciation is and how high or low your pitch is. Have others listen to it as well and give their feed back.

3. Really listen for the other person’s name and jot it down before you forget.

It’s sad to have to ask the person you’re talking with to repeat their name (the one the gave you 15 seconds into the call) after a minute of two of conversation. Take note of it the first time.

Listen for it and write it on a scrap of paper or type it on your computer immediately.

4. Focus on your caller. Don’t multi-task.

In a face to face conversation you wouldn’t do something else when the person your talking to is right in front of you right? Not only is it rude, it’s inefficient.

Drop what you’re doing. Calls often take a minute or two. If it’s something that would take longer and you can’t spare the time at the moment, ask your caller to call back at a certain time. Schedule a phone conversation so you can really focus on your caller and his/her concerns.

5. Smile… Really! It can be heard.

You’d be surprised how much is communicated by the tone of voice, pitch and rate of speech. Genuinely, be happy to greet your caller. Smiling helps in two ways: 1) it helps you to project happiness and 2) it raises the pitch of your voice slightly.

5 Things I Learned from “Make You Feel My Love”

Originally on 5 Things I Learned – February 2, 2011

“Make You Feel My Love” is a song composed and first released by Bob Dylan in 1997. I especially like the version of Adele because her rendition borders on gentle hope and sadness.

1. A touch-warm embrace, a strong hold, is a good way to make someone feel loved.

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the star appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

2. Be patient and stay true and sincere.

I know you haven’t made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I’ve known it from the moment that we met
There’s no doubt in my mind where you belong

3. Don’t hold back. Be generous. Be ready to sacrifice and give of yourself.

I’d go hungry, I’d go black and blue
I’d go crawling down the avenue
There ain’t nothing that I wouldn’t do
To make you feel my love

4. It won’t be easy, you may be pushed away. Remember, who you are separate from who you love. Therein lies your strength.

The storms are raging on rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain’t seen nothing like me yet

5. If you truly love, their happiness comes first even if it isn’t with you.

There ain’t nothin’ that I wouldn’t do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

Be patient.