Tag Archives: enjoy

5 Things I Learned From Horse Riding

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first published on January 12, 2011 on my Wisdom of a 20-Something; republished on 5 Things I Learned on January 25, 2011

1) Your bum is gonna hurt.

It’s a fact… but eventually you’ll be so used to the discomfort that it won’t matter. It’s the same in life…we eventually get desensitized from the not so ideal things that surround us. In some cases, like horse riding or learning to tune out noise or distractions that can be a good thing. But there are other things like poverty, injustice and cruelty that we should not want to be desensitized from.

2) Sometimes its ok not to follow the rules.

If you’ve ever gone horse riding, the first lesson you learn is how to mount and position yourself on a horse. Your bum should be in the saddle and your feet in their respective stirrups. I often removed my feet from the stirrups, just because.

On one occasion when I was a kid, my family went to this place where you could rent a horse for a ride. My mom decided to take a photo of me on the horse. The horse spooked, I was unprepared and got thrown off. It was a good thing that my feet (naturally) weren’t in the stirrups or I would have ended up with injured ankles, knees or both.

Knowing which rules to break, resist or go against is tricky. It can go both ways – you could be lucky or successful or you could be condemned.

3) Horses stink.

Let’s face it… all animals have a certain smell. I don’t care if its a goldfish or a snake or an elephant-there is always some sort of odor if not from the animal itself then from its habitat.

Like #1, you eventually get used to the smell.

4) Hold on.

Even the best trained horses have their moods and can be unpredictable. If I’d been holding on well, I probably wouldn’t have been thrown off the horse even if it did spook. (Note: I wasn’t holding the reigns.)

Life’s like that too… there are events and seasons where you just have to hold on.

5) Enjoy.

Horse riding is enjoyable… When you’re on a horse, you see things from a different perspective (literally). And usually, the place you are horse riding in is scenic. Enjoy the view and the experience.

5 Things I Learned About Comforters

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Originally on 5 Things I Learned – January 26, 2011

Just so we’re on the same page… A comforter is a type of blanket much like a quilt or a duvet. It’s meant to keep the user warm and cozy on a cold night (or if your bed room is air conditioned.)

1. It’s really effective at keeping the cold out and the warmth in.

My room mate who also owns the flat I live in, recently decided that we needed an air conditioner for the fast coming summer months. The problem is, I’m extremely sensitive to the cold! I shiver if a fan is blowing in my direction. For a while, I used a wool blanket…which provided my some measure of warmth, enough so I could get to sleep and wake up with stiff muscles.

I dealt with the discomfort for a month till I finally came to my senses and got myself a comforter last weekend…and voila! Warmth…joyous warmth.

2. It keeps me in bed (and refusing to get out and really wake-up.)

Having a comforter wrapped around you… is almost (I repeat almost) like waking up in your loved one’s arms. It’s really comforting (forgive the pun). Of course nothing beats the real thing…a loving committed man beside me but till then I can spend a couple of minutes more under covers dreaming of him.

3. It is thick and heavy…and thus a chore to wash.

In a month’s time, I’ll be faced with the insurmountable task of washing my comforter. Filled with cotton (or whatever synthetic material it’s filled with that  makes it warm)…the filling absorbs an absurd amount of water and thus becomes really heavy. So arms and legs get ready for one helluva work out!

Then again…there’s a laundry shop nearby. I think I’ll go that route.

4. When folded it doubles up as a pillow.

A really really comfy pillow.

5. You can also use it as a sleeping bag or padded mat.

I remember at home when I’d have friends for a sleep over…when we ran out of fold-able mattresses piling on a couple of comforters on top of one another was a comfortable alternative to the hard cement floor… hey drunks can’t be ‘choosers’ right!

5 Things I Learned from Drinking Liquor

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Originally on 5 Things I Learned – February 8, 2011

A few minutes ago, a friend invited me for drinks on Saturday night and I found myself really excited! I love alcohol-but I’m not a drunk, I don’t even drink that frequently. Four times in a month is already a lot for me…but I greatly enjoy alcohol – the exquisiteness of the flavors and texture of a good liquor, the artistry of cocktails and mixed drinks, the challenges of enjoying a night out (but not too much to get a hang over), the experience of being slightly tipsy to downright wasted and most especially the joy of sharing time, laughter and stories with loved ones.

So here’s the 5 Things I Learned from Drinking Liquor

1. Fruit juice (real fruit juice) make the best mixers.

A margarita is a cocktail essentially made with sweetened lemon juice & tequila. It’s the second cocktail I learned how to make (the first was a screwdriver-orange juice & vodka). On one occasion at a bar, I asked the waitress whether they use real lemons in preparing their margaritas and was told they did. But when the drink came…it was neon green!

Here is a picture of a lemon… tell me how that would ever result in a neon green drink. Apparently they had used a lime juice substitute. The drink was bitter and ‘artificial’ tasting.

Nothing compares with the real thing – the juice of real lemons, oranges, pineapple juice, etc. Using artificial fruit juices (or whatever that bitter substitute was just doesn’t cut it.

2. The darker the liquid the greater the hang over.

In my experience, getting drunk on wine equals a mild to severe hangover the next day. According to experts, the body works double time to process the tannin found in alcohol that has some color (i.e. wine, brandy, rum, etc.). Clear liquors like gin, vodka and sake do not have tannin.

The best (no hangover) liquor I’ve ever enjoyed is Lambanog – a Filipino liquor made from coconut. (Let me know if you’re interested a good friend of mine sells a good quality reasonably priced lambanog).

3. Be faithful…stick to one type of alcohol.

Another surefire way to confuse your body and thus ensure your next day hang over, is to switch from one drink to another in the course of the evening. Do stick to one drink (or at least one type of alcohol).

4. Swimming and alcohol = wastedness (at least it does for me)

I’m a pretty heavy drinker, my tolerance for alcohol is pretty high…but I’ve had my share of being wasted. I CAN NOT mix alcohol and swimming (or the equivalent of my body being immersed in water) without getting wasted.
My theory is that alcohol is a diuretic – which means that it makes you dehydrated. When you are swimming, the same is true – you get dehydrated. So one dehydration + one dehydration = a system that is extremely vulnerable to the effects of alcohol more quickly than normal.

5. A friend or twenty make awesome drinking companions.

I hate drinking alone… I rarely do it and when I do, it’s painfully obvious that something is missing. Whether I’m drinking to celebrate or drinking to commiserate having the people I love around me makes a huge difference.

Plus, talking, laughing, dancing and horsing around is a great way to burn off the alcohol (thus allowing you to enjoy more alcohol throughout the night.)

Remember one and all DRINK RESPONSIBLY for your sake and those of your loved ones.

5 Things I Learned About Thinking About Death

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Originally on 5 Things I Learned – March 12, 2011

I think about death everyday. Seriously! It’s something I started doing as a teenager. I daydream about death-other persons as well as mine. The scenarios are unlikely but often a real possibility such as my entire family dying in one fell swoop either from a vehicular accident or a house fire/explosion. I’ve thought of friends committing suicide and being killed (foul play). I’ve thought about the death of people who are important to the people who are important to me. I think about how I could die tomorrow or soon. I know it seems morbid…but really it’s not. I’m not wishing for death, mine or anyone else’s though truthfully sometimes I get so involved in my daydreaming that the scenes that play out in my head bring me to tears. Why do it (again and again) if it brings such sadness… well because every time I do it, I learn something important about myself, my relationships and about life and living.

1) I realize how meaningful a person is to me.

We all know the saying ‘You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.’ Death is the ultimate ‘gone-ness.’ There’s no coming back from it… things that are left unsaid are unsaid, hurtful words we were never able to apologize for plague us who are alive, etc. Therapy, counseling and healing techniques for dealing with pain regarding a deceased loved one are corrective. And sadly more people do not get to fully heal from such a loss.

For someone like me who can be so ‘busy,’ it’s so easy for me to overlook the people in my life and how I feel about them. But when I think about them being gone, I remind myself that this person is important to me. Sometimes, I have even surprised myself with the intensity of the feeling of loss – I realize then that a certain person apparently meant so much more to me than I knew.

2) I am motivated to show that appreciation.

Gary Chapman in his book the 5 Languages of Love, talks about how we give and receive love differently. It is as if there is a filter saying this is how to love and this is what it feels like to be loved. The five languages of love are as follows: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. Because I am reminded how important someone is to me, I am motivated to cultivate my relationship with him/her by communicating my appreciation and love. In the end there are only two things I want the other person to know: he/s is special to me, that I love him/her.

It takes a lot of work to cultivate relationships but its rewards are incomparable.

3) I get to visualize how I will respond to such events in the future. If I don’t like it, I can work on it now.

What if I found out when exactly I would die? Would I be one of those people that rush to cram doing everything they left for later between now and when they would die? Would I be someone who recoiled into herself at the idea that I would be dying, pushing everyone away? (For a time, that was the image that popped into my head when I thought about my own death. I’m working on figuring out why that is so. So far I’ve realized it has something to do with my having to be strong, independent and my fear of connecting with others).

When I think about other people dying, I try to see how I would react. Would I breakdown at the thought of losing my whole family? Could I survive it if my best friends died? Would it matter to me if people that rubbed me the wrong way passed away?

4) I am prompted to take note of the little things. (Well it’s one of the things I’m working on)

Again, I tend to rush through my day, observing and taking note only of what seems useful. So sadly, I have missed out on the random things that color my world, that lift me up, that inspire me, that make me feel alive, that give me joy. I’m learning to be more present to my self in my day… It is in the little things-glancing at the floor and finding a 100 peso bill, the unexpected smile from the stranger you cross on the street, a man holding the door for you as you enter, the giggle of a young toddler, the vibrancy of the color of a flower…

5) I am reminded to be present today, to enjoy each moment of life, to live now.

A moment comes but once…other moments may be similar but each moment is unique, never to be experienced again. For as we experience each moment, we are changed. We can never experience experiences again…all we have is today to savor it and embed it in our memories.

5 Things I Learned about Birthdays

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Originally on 5 Things I Learned – February 16, 2011. I wrote this for my friend’s birthday…and since today is my birthday. I thought it would be cool to re-release it today.

1. Friends have figured out that I have a signature birthday greeting:

Happy (insert person’s name here)-day!

My birthday is my day! It’s my day to celebrate me the way I want to celebrate that day. Last year, I wanted to celebrate my birthday by myself. I know it’s hard to believe but it was one of the best birthdays ever. The year before that, I celebrated my birthday with my office mates and our major partner. The year before that with my family and loved ones… The point it, I try to figure out what I consider to be celebrating my birthday and I celebrate my day. On my birthday, I have an untenable frame of mind that nothing, and I mean NOTHING is going to make my birthday suck!

That’s what I want to communicate when I greet people Happy (Name)-day! It’s your day, celebrate it how you want to celebrate it.

Aside: Since people have caught on I’ve been thinking of a different greeting? Any suggestions?

2. The relationship of # of years alive vs. birthday celebrated and age confuses me.

A baby is born on day 1…when the baby reaches day 365/366, he/she would have already been alive for 1 year. It is his/her 1st birthday/birth anniversary. Beginning day 365/366 until day 729/730, baby is referred to as 1 year old. His/her age is 1 (one), it is currently his/her 2nd year of life. When he/she reaches day 730/731, it will be his/her 2nd birthday/birth anniversary. He/she will be entering into his/her 3rd year of life.

But I guess saying how many full years you’ve lived (years old – age) is much easier than what year of life you are currently living.

3. I have a hunch that at least once in their adult lives, people want to experience a birthday party being thrown for them (whether its a surprise or not).

As children, our parents planned and took care of our parties…but as we get older by our teenage years and when we are adults-if we want a party we have to make it happen ourselves…that is unless someone throws us a surprise party.

Most often the difference between an regular birthday party and the surprise party is that in the former the celebrant is often the one making it happen-inviting guests, ensuring adequate food supply, etc. He/she has to worry about it. Whereas in the latter the celebrant is (or at least should be) clueless about the preparations, logistics, etc. and no effort is required from him/her because someone else made it happen.

It’s the “someone else made it happen because they love me and want me to feel special” aspect of surprise parties that celebrants appreciate! More than just helping a loved one with a party, throw a party for them. Don’t let them do anything except enjoy the celebration. :D

4. I am glad you were born and that you are still alive.

Birthdays are an opportunity for us to express to the celebrant how different our lives would be if he/she weren’t born and if he/she hadn’t lived so long. Birthday’s mark a year of life that has been lived. There are definitely a lot of memories (hopefully good ones) to celebrate.

5. Birthdays are an opportunity to start afresh.

Imagine a life without any ‘life markers’ that signify ends and beginnings – like birthdays-end of year 24 start of year 25, or new years-end of 2010 start of 2011, or seasons changing-spring to summer… and the like. Though technically we can ‘start afresh’ anytime we want to…it seems easier to some extent to make changes in our lives when there are clear transitions such as the events above. I think it has something to do with the psychological ritual of letting go of the past and being open to the future.

Every birthday is another chance to start a new hoping that our next year of life will be more than the one we are celebrating.

5 Things I Learned about Guesting On TV

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Originally on 5 Things I Learned – February 1, 2011

Last week, Colayco Foundation sent me to a small TV station to talk about what we do… It was my first solo TV guesting. I’d done guestings and interviews before but I was either with another person or the segment was really short. This time, I was engaged with the hosts for almost an hour.

1. The studio is cold.

I was in a polo shirt (because it had the logo of our foundation) and a pair of slacks. By the end of the show my teeth were nearly chattering.

To do for next time: have a button pin of our logo made and wear a warm jacket to future TV guestings.

2. Contour, contour, contour!!!

I’ve become a bit rounder the past two years and its showing in my face. Adding a bit of contouring to my make up would make me look better on camera.

Where to add: under my cheek bones and along my jaw line.

3. Figure out your angles and where the cameras are.

Trying to talk to the two hosts while giving the cameras a good angle of my face was difficult, but ultimately doable. The key is to test angles before taping/airing and to remember not to turn away too much.

4. Prepare your key phrases beforehand.

In past guestings, I was a bundle of nerves. I knew my material but there were times that I got tongue tied. Having a set of phrases on the ready helped me a lot with this last guesting. It helped keep the energy going.

5. Smile, laugh, play along, RELAX!

It’s the host’s responsibility and area of expertise to keep a show moving. You’re in good hands, take his/her cue and run with it.

5 Things I Learned About Relationships From Meredith Grey

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Originally on 5 Things I Learned – February 13, 2011 (seemed timely to re-post as I just finished Season 7 the other week)

As I was doing my normal thinking routine, I came across a couple of quotes from the fictional character: Meredith Grey from the US show Grey’s Anatomy. I love Grey’s Anatomy especially the first few seasons. Now, I’m not such an addict but I still try to keep up with the series. I know the show is a whole lot of drama and is an exaggeration of the universal human experience but well… that’s TV for you.

So here’s 5 things I learned about relationships from Meredith Grey

1. “At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don’t keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That’s how we’re made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines… that are way too dangerous to cross.”

We are all afraid of being hurt, of disappointment, of being stupid…we do our best to guard our hearts, to be conservative in the risks we take in beginning to love someone and loving them some more. If we are willing, we let them in a little and then if all goes well we let them in a lot. But so many of us never really honestly lets the other person in-there is that line we are too conscious of- too afraid of crossing…the last line of defense that signals if I let you in you could destroy me…I would be at your mercy.

I don’t know how to figure out which lines are worth crossing and which ones aren’t. That’s a circumstance we each have to face and we respond to differently. But I think it is imperative that we face it and we make a decision – to avoid it, to exist in ambiguity is the greater torture.

2. “I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you’ve crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don’t know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.”

Unwelcome advances are easy to spot – even without any physical contact you can already feel uncomfortable by just the intention  of the other person. But when you genuinely like the other person, his/her advances are welcomed…then we have to figure out whether it’s healthy or unhealthy – whether it’s good for us or not. What’s even more tricky is realizing that you want it but it’s not good for you!

3. “Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn’t change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It’s not just a river in Egypt, it’s a freakin’ ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?”

There are so many intelligent women that are denial junkies when it comes to matters of the heart. (Full disclosure: I am one of them). We know better but still we choose something unhealthy for us. We rationalize and try to fool ourselves into thinking that things will go our way even though we know it’s never going to happen. Whether it’s unrequited love, an abusive and selfish partner,  an obsession with someone unattainable… the pattern is the same.

We wait till we’re at rock bottom, feeling like shit before we actually do something about it. Then we bash ourselves for being stupid when we should have been smarter than that.

4. “Maybe we’re not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we’re thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we’re thankful for the things we’ll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.“

Life is a series of ups and downs. To hope for perpetual happiness and to expect never-ending difficulties is the surest way to a life of misery. It is through celebrating the big and the small that joy is created and maintained. To acknowledge the difficulty and our resilience and love ourselves for it would be the greatest self-gift.

5. “At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we’ve chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day – those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.”

No one wants to be alone. We all want to belong and feel connected to each other. If we only recognize that fact then maybe we can be grateful for the relationships we do have and work to make them better.

Well I hope your Valentine’s is better than mine! xoxo